raijahn: (Default)
( May. 3rd, 2009 03:36 pm)
My therapist taught me over a year ago to recognize when I have a good day, to cherish and genuinely enjoy those few moments when I can honestly say 'I'm happy'.

Today has been a fantastic day.

In seven days it will be a year since I last picked up a blade. Today marks the longest I have ever gone without cutting.

I've broken through the writer's block that has had me in its grip for over a year.

It's beautiful and sunny and I actually spent time outside in it, rather than hiding in my room.

I stopped biting my nails. This makes me happy because I can now afford the acrylics I so love.

The future still looks dark and treacherous, but I can finally see the glimmer of hope that's been missing in my life.

Here's to more days like this. Cheers!

(cross-posted to dreamwidth, I'm raijahn over there)
This may be premature, but I *have* to share.

In seven days I will have made it a year without cutting. It's the longest I've gone in six years, which is when I started in the first place.

I'm very proud of myself, but at the same time I'm not pretending that it won't happen again. I could fall off the wagon tomorrow. But I won't cut today. And hopefully, I will make it to that year mark and beyond. Even if I don't, making it this far is still a big accomplishment. *nods*
raijahn: (Default)
( May. 2nd, 2009 12:02 pm)

13:56 eating spaghetti while watching an autopsy scene on CSI. what does it say about me that this isn't even remotely disturbing? *snicker* #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Apr. 27th, 2009 12:04 pm)

18:35 Nothing makes me feel more ashamed than asking my roommates if they can spare any food because I couldnt afford to buy any this payday. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Apr. 26th, 2009 12:03 pm)

07:59 why must people exist that live for putting people down just because they can? #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Apr. 17th, 2009 12:03 pm)

03:15 OMG my student loans = 2x what i make a *year*. and i'm not done, i have at least 4 yrs left. >_< if only i'd known then what I know now... #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Apr. 10th, 2009 12:03 pm)

08:48 went to be at four. why am i awake? *glares at growling stomach* #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (grin)
( Apr. 10th, 2009 10:57 am)
Life is crazy and frustrating and depressing and beautiful and exciting and awe-inspiring. Right now I want to pack up everything - that is, the things that I can't live without - and run away from home. Though, really, I'm running *to* the next stage of my life. Gotta tell ya, it's about time I got there.

Anyway, besides this little cryptic message that I expect nobody to understand, I have a question to pose to you all:

What five albums(or artists if you're like me and need their whole entire discography) can you not live without?

I'm still working on mine but I know for sure that Queensryche's Operation:Mindcrime and 30 Seconds to Mars' entire collection tops the list. And possibly the soundtrack to Tfaro, but I'm not sure multiple artist playlists can count. *scratches head*
raijahn: (Default)
( Apr. 1st, 2009 04:08 pm)
So, does anyone know how to make a fox using just the symbols of the keyboard? What I've come up with so far looks like this:


It's cute, but seems wrong somehow. Help?
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 28th, 2009 12:03 pm)

00:10 my boyfriend is pro at every wii sports there is. and somehow, that just makes him hotter. *fans face* #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 19th, 2009 12:05 pm)

12:32 today feels like three different specific summers. it's a bit disorienting, but wicked fun. they were *good* summers. #

14:05 damn, but its beautiful today. and *warm*. it's a bit surreal, really. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 18th, 2009 12:02 pm)

09:46 seven solid hours of sleep, an extra shift cleaning rooms, excellent coffee, and yummy peanut butter cookies. its a wonderful day. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 9th, 2009 12:02 pm)

17:57 roomie is currently trying like hell to fix my computer. i pray it works. i miss it like mad. *sad look* #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 3rd, 2009 12:02 pm)

12:07 portland has just been ranked unhappiest city. #

13:01 my computer has a virus. crashed last night. i pray my roomie takes pity and fixes it. i may have to beg. #

07:01 running late today. working four different shifts means i will inevitably set my alarm clock for the wrong time one of those days. *sigh* #

07:15 good news. roomie has agreed to fix computer. this time i watch so next time i can fix it myself. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 2nd, 2009 12:02 pm)

14:18 sundays are lame. margaritas rock. true friends are rare. it's too bad half my friends are customers. talk about trouble for me. rules. >_< #

11:51 was up for 24 hours. took unisom. sleep hard. woke up, had no idea where i was. good times. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Mar. 1st, 2009 12:01 pm)

12:02 huh. my shoes now look as though I walked through blood. creative self expression or a manic crazy episode? #

13:07 muse is genius. hysteria is brilliant. why am i not inspired to write yet? #

13:19 knot of anxiety in her stomach... #

13:19 hope and fear merging in her blood... #

13:20 a second that lasts for eternity as she waits for the girl to turn... #

13:20 waits to see if it's *her*... #

13:20 lost, torn... #

13:20 between the possibility and the promise. #

21:47 the time to get up and get ready for work always comes way too early on saturdays. #

22:25 and the night goes from bad to worse. can i go home now? #

01:11 awesome news: leverage comes to my town to film their second season. so cool to have one of my fave shows filming here. #

05:18 two more hours. *yawn* could this night drag any longer? wait. dont answer that. #

07:13 curried vegetables and homemade tortillas. sometimes the simplest fare is the best. bless kiran's heart. #

10:43 people always try to get ahold of me when i do the day sleeping thing, then when i *dont* have to go to sleep, no one's around. *grumbles* #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (Default)
( Feb. 28th, 2009 01:10 pm)
knot of anxiety in her stomach.
hope and fear merging in her blood.
a second that lasts for eternity as she waits for the girl to turn.
waits to see if it's *her*.
lost, torn.
between the possibility and the promise.
raijahn: (Default)
( Feb. 28th, 2009 12:01 pm)

20:31 love when roommate plays with the circuit breaker. hello? cant get ready for work in the dark. and whats with all the hammering? o_O #

21:39 nickelback is awesome and dirty. #

01:41 sometimes working grave sucks. but i do love all the paperwork. #

02:13 my god. the security guards i work with are insane. somehow that makes me wonder just how safe the property *really* is. #

05:05 chocolate raspberry creamer is evil. that is all. #

07:57 work is done. yay. waiting for food. admiring my nifty sneakers which are purple now thanks to magic markers. also my laces have pink stars. #

10:27 purple shoes and black pentagrams. wonder how many people that'll offend on the way home. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
raijahn: (dcook - billie)
( Feb. 27th, 2009 08:39 pm)
...but I need more. Recs, anyone?

I generally grab new music by way of checking out new releases every Tuesday, hearing catchy tunes on TV shows or movies, or ravings of friends/family/coworkers, but I still feel as though I could possibly be missing out on some wicked brilliant artist.

So, please, I beg you, give me a few of your favorite artists/albums. Any genre, any decade, *anything*.

Thank you!
This is the TEST shipment you asked for

  • 04:18 should be sleeping. watching 'rachel getting married' instead. also, am eating peanut butter cookies. they is *very* tasty. #
  • 06:39 'rachel getting married' rocked. cried more than i expected. laughed more than i thought possible. and now i sleep. i hope. #
  • 09:10 supposed to be sleeping. Instead watching creepy horror movie 'walled in' starring mischa barton, much hated actress of 'oc' fame. *is lame* #
  • 09:12 @blueraccoon murphy is like a love/hate thing. *nods* course, that's assuming we're speaking of the same murphy... o.O #
  • 16:26 @CharkR not overrated, per se, just difficult at times. insomnia is quite familiar. #
Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter